How do you tell someone "I had a heart attack?"

It took a call from a friend today to bring back the memories of telling family and friends that I had a heart attack. I remember having feelings of embarrassment and shame. Asking myself what are people going to think? What do I say? Should I tell them everything and over qualify that I didn't have plaque! Or should I say my heart is clear it was just a crazy abnormality?  You're probably wondering why would she think that? Well, whether or not we want to admit it we all have in our minds a preconceived notion of who will have a heart attack. They must be obese, smokers with high cholesterol and blood pressure. Sorry to say that is not the case.

Crazy as it is, my friend after an angiogram found out he too had S.C.A.D (Sudden Coronary Artery Dissection) same as what caused my heart attack.  What are the chances? This is so crazy. But I hate to say it.. but I now have my first member of my crazy heart attack club.

Do you know somebody who has had a heart attack? Was it a family member, friend or loved one? Did you ask yourself upon finding out, why did they have a heart attack? Well, imagine what the person who had the heart attack is thinking. We tell ourselves people are going to judge me and they must think I'm a horrible eater. She must not have any idea of what the inside of a gym looks like. She must spend all her time eating at McDonalds, smoking a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks like a drunken sailor. Well, let me tell you that is not the typical heart attack victims lifestyle. Most heart attack victims actually live healthy lifestyles and are avid runners and exercise more than four times a week.

During the first few weeks, I would find myself over explaining my heart attack. I would tell anybody that would listen that my cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugars were below normal levels. I did stop at my weight.. now that maybe a little too much TMI..

The image above is of the different degrees of S.C.A.D Sudden Coronary Artery Dissection. (Graphic by Journal of Thoracic Disease)

 I wanted everyone to know that mine was not caused by plaque but due to S.C.A.D. (Sudden Coronary Artery Dissection). The scary thing about S.C.A.D. it has no explanation. No one knows what causes it,  why and when it happens, and who's affected. It just is one of those crazy things in the universe that decided to happen to my heart.

In the end, we all need to remember that people who have heart attacks are just like you. They still can eat, drink and have fun. Don't judge them and think that all they should ever eat is chicken, lettuce, and carrots. You are going to see us having fun and living life. Hell, we just had a brush with death. What is that quote about everything in moderation? I just ask that before you give someone advice about how they should be doing things think" Am I perfect?" Do I always live a 100% clean lifestyle? Don't judge or label us just because we had a heart attack. You have simply been lucky to not be a member of our "crazy heart attack club".

At the end of my call today with my friend, I finally felt like I had somebody who knew what I was going through. We currently have a support group of two but my hope is to work with the American Heart Association to identify others. Healing from an event like this is not just physical but a mental journey as well. So be kind when you hear of somebody having a heart attack.. Think more with your heart than your mind!

Go RED for Women.. Painting the United States RED!

As I sit down tonight to write this blog I'm at a loss for words. What I have just experienced in a room full of over 400 women/men in a sea of Red is truly an amazing moment. The air was filled with HOPE! Hope that each and every one of us could play a part in stopping the #1 killer of women heart disease and stroke. Emotions ranged from laughter to tears and everything in between. Go Red for Women is a truly amazing cause where people join together. In just 3.5 short hours, 400 women/men raised over $200,00 to help fight this cause. The possibilities are endless in what we can do to fight this! 

This is truly shocking!! 1 in 3 women dies from heart disease or stroke. This needs to end now!

When the slide above was presented, you could hear a pin drop. I sat at a table of 10 and looked around and thought who is next? What we need to remember is heart disease and stroke don't discriminate. We need to do something about this, and it needs to start now. How many times do we turn on our tv and see pink? It's time to expand our color palates and realize the red that signifies the American Heart Association impacts more women on a daily basis.  Well, my wish is that you will turn on your TV see red and think heart disease and stroke. We all need to start getting involved. The truth is that in your lifetime you will either be affected by it personally or have a family member affected. 

Do we need to start asking ourselves, what can I do? How can I get involved? It takes one simple step call your local American Heart Association ask them what you can do to help. It starts with you and from there it blossoms to others. I would love to see us all start to catch the "RED FEVER".  We need to take out the biggest paintbrush we can find and paint this world RED!!

Below you will find my "Survivor Story" video. This video was produced by the American Heart Association. I was able to share my story tonight in hopes that everyone in the audience would not have to experience the crazy journey I've been on. Thank you to the American Heart Association for letting me be apart of such a beautiful evening. 

What? I'm a 40 year-old mom having a heart attack...

It started as a normal day.. I exercised in the morning, got the kids to school and went to work. After school we ran around and did our normal daily routines. I took Brenna to Irish dance lessons, we had supper and all went to bed. At 2:00 am I woke up with crushing chest pain. First thought, I gave up caffeine today for Lent could that be the cause? What if I'm having indigestion?! I got up and walked to the coach and sat in the dark for a minute. By now, I'm noticing the pain is in my jaw. I finally start to acknowledge that this is something bigger than I could possibly imagine. I have a Bachelors in Nursing and remember from my training that women present differently than men. 

I decided it was time to wake up my husband. I will never forget that moment of telling your loved one that you're having chest pain. Still not wanting to believe it was a heart attack I took his phone and briefly googled "women's heart attack symptoms". As I read down the list I finally had to acknowledge that this WAS happening. My husband said "I'm not that good at CPR, I'm calling an ambulance". 

After the call to 911 it seemed like it took forever. My mind was racing, what if the kids wake up and see the ambulance stretcher?,  Then it hits me I may not ever talk to my kids again, or I might die!! Are you kidding me, I went to bed a normal person in what I thought was good health and now I'm having a heart attack! I'm only 40 years old, I have a family to take care of and a husband I dearly love and have many years of fun experiences awaiting us.

When the ambulance came, I was put on Oxygen and an EKG was done to see what my heart rhythm looked like. Nothing was said, I was loaded on the stretcher and loaded in the ambulance, My husband got the kids settled and followed me to the hospital. 

The ride in the ambulance was scary! Right away Ryan (EMT) said the dreaded words.."You're having a right sided heart attack, I'm starting the STEMI protocol." Four baby aspirin werepopped into my mouth and nitroglycerin under my tongue for the pain. I'm thinking to myself is this really happening? And then I started to sweat profusely, the pain gets more intense. I remember looking at the ceiling of the ambulance praying to God, begging my dad in heaven and all my guardian angels to let me live.  I can't be dying I have a lot of living to do. I need to see Parker and Brenna grow up, get married and have kids.  I can't leave Joe the love of my life its way too soon. I asked Ryan (EMT) to promise me that he will keep me alive, I say "I'm too young to die." Ryan says " I'll try." Now I look back and think Ryan you could of just lied to me and told me "you're not dying on my watch!" Heck, had it been a bad outcome I would have never known you lied Ryan. It's these little things that happen that for some reason mean so much. 

We enter the ER and all hands on deck.. At that point when I see all the people I know it's bad. People are coming at me from all angles, patches are placed, IV's started and then a chaplain shows up! At that moment, I'm thinking nope I'm not dying tonight this is not happening!! I'm a mom, a wife...the list doesn't end and this is not fair. I work out 5 days a week, try to eat right and.... At that moment Joe my husband comes into my room and I start to relax. I can see the scared look in his eyes as the chaplain asks us to pray before I go to the Cath lab. I take Joe's hand and squeeze it. I look at him not knowing if I I'll ever see if him or my kids again. All I can think to say is "I love you and I'm so sorry this is happening."

I'm wheeled into the cath lab where more patches are hooked up and defibrillator patches are placed. At this moment, I say a silent prayer to God asking that he lets me live. My thoughts while the nurses are prepping me go immediately to my husband and kids. What if tomorrow doesn't come? I can't leave my husband to raise my kids alone. This is not fair! Why me, why now? I have so much life to live! Please God don't let me die!

The next thing I remember is the Cardiologisttelling me that I had a dissection of my Right Coronary Artery, they had to place 2 stents.  It didn't help that the doctors kept saying that this is very rare or I have no other risk factors. I kept thinking, What???? Why??? How???? Me??? The questions keep racing in my mind. The nurses take me to my room in CCU and I get to see my husbands smiling face. I knew at that moment that everything was going to be fine, I am alive! 

We had plans to go to church that night for Ash Wednesday but those plans soon changed. I was given the service bedside. What better way to celebrate the true miracles that happened that night and all the guardian angles that had a hand in my positive outcome.

 No matter what lies ahead I'm ready. I have been given a second chance at life and from now on.. I will never take any day for granted!! 

I will not lie to you the day was filled with anxiety, nausea, pain and discomfort. I had thoughts swirling through my head how do I tell people? It kept hitting me that I almost died last night. My husband and I tried to figure out the best way to let people know. But then again how do you start off a phone call, email or text? Do you simply say "Hi, Melissa had a heart attack" what then?? I will never forget peoples response of shock, "Melissa had a heart attack?" they would say.  I know right.. aren't heart attacks reserved for the 65+ crowd? All through out the day I had trouble holding back tears.. tears of joy and then tears of what might have been. We each go through our daily life and move from task to task not ever imagining that today may be the last. We all need to remember that life is a blessing not to be taken for granted. 

We found out that day that years of estrogen from birth control pills had caused my heart attack.  The good news is I have no other risk factors and will start cardiac rehab to get my heart stronger. I will continue to blog through my recovery because I feel its important for others to know that what they are experiencing is normal post heart attack no matter what age you are. During this last week I have felt happy, sad, mad and confused. I remember a volunteer in the hospital talking about going to Walmart and I got jealous. Walmart? I know it sounds crazy. But post heart attack your independence is taken away and you have to rely on the love and help of friends and family. Simply walking from one room to the next can require lots of effort and you get really short of breath.

The hardest part about recovery is seeing all the worried looks on loved ones faces. This has been a true wake up call. I appreciate all the kind messages, visits and laughs from friends, family and loved ones.  

The picture below was taken when I was able to see my kids. (My son is not big on pictures)

I will continue to blog about my journey and the daily struggles of surviving at heart attack at 40.